He said I’m going to drop down dead.
Bam. Just like that.
As we leave the year that claimed a few of my heroes – Prince, Alan Rickman, Victoria Wood, AA Gill, George Michael and my friend Hugh – you’d think I’d be rattled.
But I’m not.
Because, apparently, although my demise will be swift, it won’t be until I’m 100.
This prediction came via a hand reading with Johnny Fincham, a leading UK palmistry teacher and author, who, conveniently for me, lives near Norwich.
My appointment was on the cusp of the turning-year when anything seems possible.
If you believe such stuff, our hands reveal much about us.
Johnny’s a fascinating chap, a sort of Ronnie Wood in yoga pants, who’s been on breakfast telly and national papers.
The hand reading began with him inking my palms and printing them. He made a few scribbles, ruminated, marvelled at my bent little fingers…
His stream of information came fast and eloquently. It contained, among many more, the words fashion, artist, journalism, feng shui, recent house move and wallpaper. Which pretty much sums up my life.
Have you Googled me? I asked. (I knew this was unlikely; I only gave my first name when I booked the hand reading).
‘No’, he answered, ‘It’s all here in your palms.’
My inky mitts showed I’m fundamentally earthy, practical and grounded, with a plodding loyalty. If you’re my friend, you’re probably stuck with me.
Prone to being ultra-sensible and repressed, he said. How dull, I thought.
‘But it’s weird,’ Johnny said. “This is the least earthy Earth hand I’ve seen, because everything else says the opposite. There’s another side to you that’s a wild artist, up there with the fairies, who craves fun and freedom.
‘It’s like two different people.’
Are they called Sarah and Lois, by any chance, I wondered..?
This explains much.
Why I’m on the tidy side of ‘alternative’; I love a joss stick but they’re probably from John Lewis.
My house is creative but I don’t have stuff that sits there being pointless. Ditto my wardrobe.
I’m into Feng Shui, but not the frogs and wind chimes bit. I use it to booby-trap my life to remind me what I want.
Anyway, back to the dropping down dead thing.
Apparently, we are likely to shuffle off roughly around the time we expect to. If we believe we won’t make old bones (maybe our ancestors didn’t) then that’s probably what will happen.
Our future is shaped by our expectations, and we can decide what to believe. So if we believe we’re here for a while, that’ll probably happen too.
My parents reached a ripe old age, despite smoking like troopers and being partial to lard. But that’s not the reason I’m expecting my telegram from the King…
It’s because I didn’t wake up until I reached midlife. Until my late 40s, I was sleep-walking, going with the flow, stuck in old and limiting beliefs.
Around 50, I realised anything was possible like I’d just been born.
I started Being Lois.
And there’s something else…
If I’m going to live to 100, I have my WHOLE LIFE to live again, without the things I loathed first time round.
Periods. Perms. Childbirth. Leggings. Crap jobs, and crapper boyfriends.
So, any ideas about the coming year, I asked Johnny?
‘It’s all about transformation, reinvention and a desire for creativity and glamour. (There were a few more details, but I’ll keep them to myself.)
‘Follow your heart and you’ll do well,’ he concluded.
In retrospect, Johnny might tell everyone they’ll live to 100.
He’s got to be right sometimes.
But as we ease into a new year, I’ll remind myself daily: We can’t always control what happens, but we can control how we think about it.
Life is mine to grab onto. With both inky hands.
Until next time,
Sarah, Being Lois
Contact Johnny Fincham
Sarah Morgan is a personal stylist in Norfolk UK