It’s true. Cameras and phones are so good, who needs a pro?
My new website will be ready soon. I’ve changed quite a bit since the last photo was taken, so I need a new one. I know several excellent photographers, but time was of the essence.
‘How hard can it be?’ I thought. I’ve got a decent camera, I just need a tripod, a well-lit room and someone to push the button.
‘Someone’ was my son Ted. We shoved the sofa out of the way and then he pushed the button 423 times, in between cooking lunch and checking his phone. At times I felt he wasn’t entirely concentrating…
I barked instructions, meanwhile the pizza burned, the smoke detector went off and Ted knocked the tripod over. I felt like I was smiling sweetly but I looked grumpy in most shots (my face does that). I blinked at least 418 times at the wrong moment and kept doing weird things with my hand. We were at it for ages.
We got a photo I was happy with. Then I put my glasses on and zoomed in. My eyes were out of focus. And how come the white wall behind me was dingey grey? And it looked like I only had one arm. I pondered doing some more, but Ted had sidled off to watch rugby. Drat.
I have a good chum called Tony Buckingham, a national newspaper photographer who lives a stone’s throw from me. The portrait page on his website is a Who’s Who Of Famous People I Would Love To Meet like Brian Ferry, Ricky Gervais, Gillian Anderson and Steve Coogan; I could go on forever.
I called Tony, wondering if he had time to pop over for tea. If he happened to have his camera with him, that would be super. Normally he’s really busy but I caught him on a day off. By the time the kettle had boiled, his lights were up. He had it ‘in the bag’ before he was halfway down the cup.
So here I am. In focus. Looking like I’m in a swanky studio. With two arms.
As Tony finished his tea, we pondered: What idiot would even consider taking their own portrait photo..?
Until next time,
Sarah, Being Lois
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Ps. Some people have asked – my dress is from Jigsaw SS16 collection.